Apple Trees
I’ve been busy planting apple trees
Down on my knees
Clearing the weeds
Placing the seeds
Into the soft brown earth below
Hoping for just one seed to grow.
I’ve watered them well
Now time will tell
If one day I’ll have apple trees.
I’ve spent many years planting apple seeds
In flower pots
In my garden of greens
In the backyard
Where they can soak up sunbeams
And down the hill
By the whispering streams.
But not a single seed has become a tree
Not one has blossomed to feed the bees
None have given me apples—
Only thin fragile sticks
And leaves.
I had a sapling once
Many years ago
I cherished it, loved it, watered and pruned it
And let everybody know.
The taste of future apples filled my senses
It was growing so well
Behind the plastic fences
But I opened the gate on a rainy day
Slipped in the mud
And tried to catch myself on its infant branches
And the stem
Snapped.
I planted another apple seed
Barely gave myself time to bleed.
This one sprouted
Perhaps too soon
It only grew in the light of the moon
The roots were shallow
But this sprout was hallowed.
I worked the soil
Gave it water
Treated it as my own daughter
Down on my knees day after day
Please bloom, please blossom, please give me apples.
But this particular apple tree
Would never grow apples for me.
I moved the stubborn sprout to the woods
On someone else’s land.
This was a tree that would not be pruned
By my dirt-stained, white-spotted hand.
(I come across this tree sometimes
Out in the woods when I’m walking alone
It’s growing so many brilliant bright red apples
But it’s not mine anymore—it never was—
It doesn’t matter.)
I planted yet another apple seed
Somewhere I knew it didn’t belong
Under my window right next to the house
Behind the vegetable garden wall.
And that one grew
Oh yes it grew
But not a single person knew
Because it grew only underground
Its roots went down and down and out
They wrapped around all they found
Throttled my tomatoes
Choked the carrots
Cracked the foundation of my house
Without ever raising a verdant head
Above the dirt
To meet the sun.
I knew it was causing harm
But I refused to be alarmed.
I continued cultivating it
Coaxing it and praying it
Would one day produce apples.
But instead—one day—
It died.
One apple seed sprouted in my front yard
I didn’t even plant it.
It sprang up of its own accord
But for some godforsaken reason
It went ignored.
And I still don’t have an apple tree.
I keep planting apple trees
Every year
Down on my knees
In the dirt beneath the spring sun
Hoping each seed might be the one
To grow tall and strong
To flower and produce
Big and red and juicy fruits
Some sprouts are uprooted by the wind
Some eaten by deer
Some killed by moles
But most of the seeds just refuse to grow.
You should see my sister’s apple tree
It’s tall and full
So green and round
Firmly planted in the ground
Of her front yard.
She’s pruned it well
And you can tell
How well she’s cared for that apple tree.
It produces such wonderful apples
Red among the dark green leaves
It’s really something you have to see
If you have any interest in apple trees.
Maybe I am not meant to grow apples.
Maybe my yard has toxic soil.
Maybe I’d have better luck with pears
Or oranges or plums or lemon trees.
It seems no matter how I toil
How much I sweat over these dark brown seeds
The most I get is a few green leaves.
Maybe it’s too late in the season.
Maybe I’ll never find the reason.
Maybe it’s time to try something new.
Maybe all this time
I’ve been committing treason
And it’s my fault that nothing grew.
But I’ll stay in this dirt down on my knees
Clearing weeds
And planting seeds
Because I’ve always wanted an apple tree.
And one day—maybe—one day soon
One of these little dark brown seeds
Will produce the most delicious fruit.
And I’ll invite everyone in town
My family, friends, neighbors all around
I’ll tell them, please, please come and see!
My own little apple tree.
6/7/25
